No juice to squeeze yet. Early night was had last night on account of bones being rattled the night before. Zero to 5% energy today (mental and physical). We slept separately last night due to the fact that he didn't finish work until 2.30am and both of us needed to not be disturbed. Although I am not in agony like I have been, I need cuddles, intimacy and affection like nobody's business! He doesn't and makes a point of it.
I am trying to win him over with seductive and fabulous home cooking and showers with the door open. I'm not sure if it will work or just make me feel even more used if/when our relationship does finally end. I want romance, I want gazing, I want passionate conversations, I was sexy texts messages, I want to walk down the aisle, I want this to be easy!
I'm learning about the law of attraction. My friend said to me, there is no right or wrong. YOU decide what you want and the Universe will deliver it! My problem is, I'm indecisive. The Universe must be getting as confused as I am. I know I want him but I want him to be more loving and I doubt he'll ever be. My friend (psychically) picked up on the fact that there wasn't much affection growing up... she wondered whether it bordered emotional abuse. That wouldn't suprise me. However, I have to remember that when YOU change your point of attraction, they'll change. 'When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change'... Wayne Dyer. I've experienced this and it works. Right now I feel depressed and in pain... I need to get to hopeful, optimistic, then I can get to joy.
Shower and more Wayne Dyer might help.
Conclusion - My Year Without Men isn't exactly my year without men! Fuck!
No comments:
Post a Comment