I love motorbikes!!! Just come back from a bike lesson totally exhillerated... I wonder how long it will be before the adrenalin wears off? The good thing about today is that I've been occupied for most of it. Italian lesson in the morning, Intense Pulsed Light treatment in the finest Cheshire 'old hag' clinic, brief stop at home for a bite and then the bike lesson...
Today I am like a different person...
Last night I attempted to go see a friend but had to turn back on account of a mild panic attack at the thought of meeting her new fabulous boyfriend all the way from New York! I couldn't handle the idea of watching them swoon together while being reminded of my own dire situation at home. 'Salt in the wound' springs to mind. I just wanted to be with Him... He could take all this pain away...NOW! I was beginning to think I'd been too rash in asking him to move out. I got home after the failed social interaction attempt and fell into bed 'poor sick me' hoping to generate a little sympathy from the Boy In The Room Next Door. It worked for a bit (and my sickness was genuine). On account of the fact I was laying in the foetal position, I was able to meagerly announce my regret and remorse at ending things, almost asking for a reconcilliation but not quite. He kinda shurgged things off in his usual aloof, 'I don't go back on things' way but didn't actually say 'no way, bitch... YOU ended it, now YOU suffer the consequences!' So I thought I might be in for chance. I slept with my door open hoping he would do the same.
Whilst waiting for 9.10am to strike today (my Italian teacher is very specific about our lesson times), I sent Him a text saying, 'would you consider having me back? Think about it, I'll be back at noon (smiley face no kiss).' I popped back at noon.... nothing.... I've been home now for 30 mins.... nothing....no comment....not even a smile! Miseryguts! Is he being a complete arse or did the angels intercept that text message and send it to Mars?
The fact is right now I feel happy and to be honest, the more fucking mizzey he remains, the more I hope to God the angel's DID intercept that message!
Dr Wayne Dyer is now going to teach me how to implant positive meme's into my brain.... nice!
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