Life has been very good recently. I've seen the abundance flow in. Cheques have been coming through the hole in the front door and I have been picking money off the money tree. All has been functioning well and there have no hold ups or inconveniences. Even on my way down to Dorset on Good Friday, I found a nice stream in the traffic which managed to get me there in a calm non tarey hairey outey kind of fashion.
However, I have noticed a little wobble in my demenour today. I will briefly point out where I am in relationship to where I want to be, just to put you in the picture. I am going to Italy on Sunday for two weeks to do a language course. I am frightened of going because I'm staying with a family that I don't know and I also don't want to leave Him. He also mentioned yesterday about what was going to happen after his contract expired at work (end of May) and if I was still considering living in Italy. I wobbled like a trifle. I don't want to think about it but I know I have to.
Life has the potential to be very exciting indeed. There is a lot of fun to be had and many many possibilities to encounter. And while I realise that it is perfectly normal to be shaking like a leaf, I acknowledge that it is simply a human fear reaction which I shall not give much attention to. I am going to tell a different story. Italy will be the most amazing experience ever. It is something that I am doing for myself. No one is forcing me. Everything that I've ever done off my own back has always been fantastic. Every risk I ever took has always reaped good results. So why should this be any different? As for my living situation with Him, that will sort itself out too, I'm sure. I don't feel the need to go backpacking as I'm in love with my work and the possibilities that that will bring, however I am open to small stints away and possibly living in Italy for 3 months or so next year. If he does decide to go backpacking for 4 months or so, I am interested to see what he has to say when I put my point forward about us having an open relationship. For someone so intent on monogamy, this will be interesting.
I will let you know.
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