Oh dear... tail beween legs. I arrived home yesterday and he was laying on his bed. I'd upset him. I'd made him unhappy with my door slamming, indrect facebook slagging off (although in my opinion I was merely expressing myself) and the fact that I left for London without saying goodbye. He also mentioned that I'd agreed to meet him down the Weatherspoons at 10.30pm on Friday night.... whoops. It's like we're living in paralell universes... We're are so different and potentially incompatibly but I am so drawn to him, like a bee to a honey pot. We lay on his bed yesterday quietly talking and discussing events. He was expressing his hurt and I was expressing mine..... Needless to say the 'make up' sex was fantastic. I've never been 'eaten out' so enthusiastically and even though it took me about 10 - 15 minutes to come, he was determined to carry on and make me come again. In that moment I felt so wanted in that he was want to spend extra time down there.
I've been thinking many things and this morning I thought maybe I should be the one to rise above all this. Now... I know about mirrors....Maybe he's aloof because I'm aloof.... maybe he's emotionally unavailable because I'm emotionally unavailable. This is what I shall work on. I shall not hold back anymore... I shall be myself. I shall not try and be this perfect woman around him. I will relax more. I will show him affection if I feel the urge. I will send him nice texts if I feel the urge too. Then if he does finish with me at least we can depart with dignity. Being an angry old bitch isn't exactly making me happy so this seems like a good alternative.
I rode my new XJ6 motorbike yesterday! WOW!
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