Day 1 - 10.45pm

Note to self. Must remember that this blog is about me. It's so easy to go off on a rant about 'them'... must refrain.

Oh fuck it..... just this once.

I type in bed listening to his movements through the very thin walls that join the room next door...'what's he doing?' I daren't think! I don't want to think about the very thing he might be doing that would send me into a mouth watering frenzy. Hazy thoughts of the possibility of getting back together keep wafting through me followed by sex crazed text messages I'd like to send him, and then I remember that text he sent me (that prompted me to 'divorce' him) about me being too needy and that I promised I wouldn't but did.

This is the reason I'm doing this dear reader. I flit from being 'needy woosy female' to strong independant 'don't suffer fools' bitch from hell... perhaps my year without men will help to bring some balance back into my life in the form of inner courage, strength and resolve... all thoes wonderful words I can only apply to myself about a quarter of the time.

Day 1

Everything reminds me of sex (and him)... even the arrows on this blog look like giant circumsized penis's. My brain is amush with smut and I am concerned that I have set myself too virtous an undertaking. It is an unrealistic expectation for a woman in her prime? After all, I am a 35 year old childless, husbandless, hormone riddled sex/relationship addict!

I am a serial monogamist (well almost), bouncing from one partner to another, and in the gaps, enjoying the anticipation of being single only to fall into the lure of another 'unsuitable'. Why can't I say no? I have been told that it is all my doing. Something to do with my 'vibration' and the law of attraction. Ok... I get that. So that's why I've decided to 'take a year off' so to speak and clean up my vibration (eeewwww). The batteries have been removed from my vibrator and inserted into my other vibration raising device (something to do with magnets). Hopefully by then I'll be fixed and something of a 'suitable' will manifest. Karma and past life regurgitation can then fuck it's little arse off.

With temptation still residing in the room next door this is going to require more strength and mental focus than I thought I had.... Madonna had it when she said, 'rejection is the greatest aphrodisiac' (and I thought it was oysters... bugger!)

Great my neighbours are having sex again!